Practice exam 2 "revision strategy"

The given essay is a lengthy essay written by a man named Jay on the topic "Something that you are good at." In this essay, the writer fails to address a talent that he has, however he does follow through in addressing what life lessons he has learned. There are many global and local concerns from sentence structure to global concerns as well as local concerns.

First, the writer mentions a clear thesis statement, "I've discovered that I'm good at partying (The Night Life), spending $$ on Fashion (Clothes, Attractive Girls), Clubbing, and enjoying delicious food." The thesis is clearly present. However, I fail to see how this addresses a talent that the writer has, it does not take talent to enjoy spending money of clothes, enjoy delicious food and partying. 

To father elaborate, there are many local concerns just in the thesis statement alone, not to mention that the entire essay is littered with errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. For example, in the thesis statement "I've discovered that I'm good at partying (The Night Life), spending $$ on Fashion (Clothes, Attractive Girls), Clubbing, and enjoying delicious food." There is misuse of parenthesis, inappropriate usage of symbols such as the money signs,  as well as inappropriate capitalization such as "The Night Life","Fashion", "Clothes", "Attractive Girls" and "Clubbing".

In addition to the local grammatical, spelling and punctuation errors, there is also global concerns. As an example the conclusion paragraph in fifteen sentences long, which is a little too drawn out for a conclusion paragraph. Although there were no paragraphs that came up too short, the way this essay is written in a little nauseating due to the over all lack of sophistication.

The essay on the topic of "Something you're good at" by Jason is a very lengthy and drawn out essay that requires a lot of attention and revision globally and locally. I would advise that the writer re evaluate his essay and improve on summarizing his body paragraphs, and revise the plethora of grammatical errors in order to have a well rounded and sophisticated essay. 

Practice exam 2 "analysis and response"

"Digging" by Seamus Heaney is a very personal and descriptive poem about the authors recollection of family traditions and the joy that his memories bring him. The author brings to remembrance the work of his grandfather and the work of his father, and in this poem, Heaney believes that though his tool is different, his work can be the same.

The author writes "Under my window, a clean rasping sound when the spade sinks into gravelly ground: My father, digging. I look down" (Heaney 3-5). This statement brings to recollection Heaney's younger days, while in his room writing he would look down under his window to see his father digging with a spade. The author paints a picture in the mind of his readers of the skill his father had with the spade, and how clearly he remembers the details of his father working out in the flower garden planting potatoes as he writes, "The coarse boot nestled on the lug, the shaft against the inside knee was levered firmly." (Heaney 10-11). With the imagery used by Heaney, one can practically see, hear, smell and feel his lived experience in the garden.

Similarly, the author brings to light his recollection of his fathers father and the work that he accomplished. "By God, the old man could handle a spade. Just like his old man" (Heaney 15-16). The author writes about how likewise, his grandfather was a master of his trade in the garden as well as his father in saying, "My grandfather cut more turf in a day than any other man on Toner's bog" (Heaney 17-18). These statements elevate the work of his father, and his fathers father. Consider the diction used in the statement "to follow men like them" (Heaney 28). The author clearly holds those men in high esteem because of the work they did. In all of this detailed recollection of the writer, one can see the respect Heaney has for the work of the men in his family in the previous generation and his desire to do similar work.

 Lastly, the author, wanting to be like his father and his grandfather and the work that they did, both digging, acknowledges that we are all given different talents and that his talent is not like theirs. This is evident when the author writes, "But I have no spade to follow men like them" (Heaney 28). Instead, Heaney believes his squat pen to be the tool of his trade. This is evident when the author writes, "Between my finger and my thumb the squat pen rests. I'll dig with it. One can see that the author intends to follow the traditions of his grandfather and father by digging with the abilities that he has been given.

In this poem "Digging" Heaney illustrates his desire to dig  as his father and grandfather did, not in dirt or gravel, but on paper with a squat pen. In using the abilities that he has been given the author intends on carrying on the family tradition. "Digging" by Seamus Heaney is  a piece of art that brings to life the recollection of days past and how to carry those learned behaviors into the future.

Practice exam 2 "Argumentation"

"Why we crave horror movies" by Stephen King is a lengthy article addressing Kings position as to why people in the world enjoy horror films. In this article, Stephen King presents an argument stating the reason so many enjoy these dark and ominous stories is because almost everyone has a "potential lyncher" inside of us and have a dark frame of mind. However, one can see that this article is unstable because King is a talented writer, not a professional psychiatrist, the article is bias towards his fans and there is relatively a small number of people who share this dark mindset.

First, one could acknowledge that Stephen King is a talented writer. In the introduction to the article, the writer tells us that King has written dozens of novels, screen plays and other works (460). However, in the same introduction, we read that King worked as a high school English teacher before becoming a famous writer. While being a high school English teacher and well known writer makes you famous, it does not make one an expert on the human mind, a professional psychiatrist or any other title that would qualify one to present such a bold argument in saying "there is a potential lyncher inside all of us" (King 462).

Secondly, we see that Kings view points are bias towards his fans and those who do potentially share the same dark frame of mind. The author writes "When we pay four or five bucks and seat ourselves at tenth-row center in a theater showing a horror movie, we are daring the nightmare" (King 461). In the next paragraph of this article, the author states that "we" do it because "we" can and "we" are not afraid. However, the phrase "we" is not an all inclusive term. Consider Christians, even King admits in his article that saints are excluded from this dark or crazy frame of mind (462). King will even say in the next sentence that saints are crazy in their own way (462). However, there is nothing crazy about believing in and following the creator and sustainer of the universe, Jesus said in Matthew 5:11, "Blessed are you when  men cast insults at you, and persecute you, and  say all kinds of evil against you falsely, on account of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great, for so they prosecuted the prophets who were before you."

Thirdly, In the introduction paragraph, the writer stated, "Many consider King to be the most successful writer of modern horror fiction today" (460). The writer  also stated, "His books have sold over 250 million copies worldwide" (460). One could argue saying that is concrete enough to support Kings position. However, the term "many" is used in the previous quotation. The term "many" is used as a relative term because two hundred and fifty million people is a large number, but considering that there are over six billion humans living on the earth currently, two hundred and fifty million is but a small fraction of the earths population, making Kings statement saying that almost all people have a potential lyncher inside of them is flawed.

In conclusion, we can see that not almost everyone have a dark and ominous "lyncher" living inside of them. One can see that the argument presented in the article "Why we crave horror movies" by Stephen King may be true concerning his fans and followers, but is flawed and unstable in application to all.
 

Practice Exam 1 "revision strategies"

This piece is a letter written to the administrators of a local university by very upset students that are enrolled at this university. The letter is written in regards to a possible policy change requiring the students to engage in a certain amount of community service hours prior to graduations. These unidentified students are very strongly opinionated and express their opinions quite strongly and stay on topic to where their points are heard and clearly understood. However, there are a number of local and global concerns that make this letter very difficult to take seriously in regards to punctuation, spelling and grammar. 

First, to address a few of the local strengths, the reader can clearly understand the students' position on the matter. However, there are many local concerns about this letter as well. One of those concerns being the plethora of spelling, grammar and punctuation errors. In the very first paragraph, the reader can't help but to cringe when noticing the use of "Their" instead of "There" "your" as opposed to "you're" and "waist" when the correct word is "waste" (1).

In addition to misuse of words, there are also punctuation errors where colons are used when periods should be used instead. Also, there are unnecessary commas are littered throughout the writing (1). Unfortunately this is not a problem that is native to the first paragraph, the reader can see these spelling, punctuation and grammar errors throughout the entirety of this letter.

In regards to the global strengths, one can take one look at this letter written by these unidentified college students and see the outrage that they have towards this idea of community service. The writer did well in informing the readers not only what their position is on the matter, but the writer also addresses their perspective from a number of different ways. Anything ranging from taking away from studious endeavors to extra curricular activities, dating and personal relaxation time (5). However, the letter seems a bit choppy with a lack of transition statement between body paragraphs.

In conclusion, one can clearly understand the unidentified students' position on the matter of community service requirements. One can also see the reasoning behind the writers position due to several aspects of the students' position. However, one may strongly encourage the writer to evaluate his/her letter and correct the several grammar, spelling and punctuation errors in order to have a more sophisticated and convincing letter to the administration.

Practice exam 1 "Response"

"Musee des Beaus Arts"  by W. H. Auden is a complex poem of Auden's depiction of a painting titled "Landscape with the fall of Icarus" where the author writes this poem comparing his view of human suffering to the story told in the painting of Icarus. Auden informs us in this piece how human suffering is tragic but is often ignored and people tend to adhere to their own agenda as opposed to tending to the needs of others.

In "Musee des Beaus Arts" W. H. Auden does not shy away from informing his readers his perception on human suffering. The author clearly addresses the fact that he believes human suffering to be tragic, this is suggested by the authors diction when he relates that suffering with terms such as "disaster"(Auden 16) and "dreadful martyrdom" (Auden 11). The author states "They never forgot that even the dreadful martyrdom must run it's course" (Auden 10 11). Perhaps W. H. Auden finds human suffering to be such a tragedy simply because it is an inevitable way of life which is also suggested from the statement he makes in regards to suffering in the beginning of his piece "it's human position; how it takes place" (Auden 4).

Not only does the author relate the fall of Icarus to tragic and inevitable everyday suffering, but he also magnifies his perception of this tragedy by suggesting that human suffering often goes unnoticed or even ignored. W. H. Auden expresses this perception of his by painting a very graphic and unsettling thought in his readers heads by stating "In Brueghel's Icarus for instance: how everything turns quite leisurely from disaster"(Auden 13 14  15). A statement such as this suggests that someone may have knowledge of an occurring  disaster, but choose to turn away from it and  not even be emotionally or psychologically effected by another persons suffering, which Auden seems to find troubling, and rightfully so.

Thirdly, not only does the author suggest that modern day suffering may not only be unnoticed or ignored, but Auden seems to believe that the reason society does not regard one another's sufferings is because they simply do not care. This point is suggested when the author states "The ploughman may have heard the splash, the forsaken cry but for him it was not an important failure." (Auden 16 17 18). Notice the authors diction when he describes the cry as "forsaken" meaning abandoned or deserted. This would suggest the knowledge of somebodies cry for help, and turning away from it selfishly because it's not you that requires assistance. This point is farther re enforced when the author writes "The expensive delicate ship must have seen something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on" (Auden 20 21 22).

In conclusion, "Musee des Beaus Arts" is W.H Auden's relations to the story of the fall of Icarus to modern day human suffering in that members of a society tend to ignore legitimate disasters and would rather adhere to their own agenda than tend to the needs of others, almost suggesting that there is no longer good in the world. Though some may disagree, this piece by W. H. Auden gives you a chilling realization that it may be true in some areas of the world, while it should be giving the readers motivation to be more aware of the needs of others and tailor to those needs as one can.

Practice exam 1 "Argumentative"

In Walter S. Minot's article in Christian Science Monitor, Minot addresses the controversy that has been haunting the public for years. Minot, being a teacher seems to believe that while full time students who are employed tend to attend class, however they seemingly exert more effort into their jobs to afford luxurious lifestyles than in their studies, and that they would be better off prioritizing their time on their school work (8). While Minot's position seems to be reasonable, some would argue that working and attending a high school or university gives the young men and women a  privileged opportunity to learn the value of time management and the importance of managing finances as well. While there is much opposition on the topic, one should be inclined to focus on their work for school and not spend so much time at work. If a man or woman is not spending thirty hours a week work it will allow them more time to study, it will teach the importance of education and it will decrease the amount of students failing classes or dropping out.

Young people who are not working thirty or more hours a week will have more time to work on their studies, projects and other homework assignments and will have a greater chance of success in the American school system. In Minot's article in Christian Science Monitor, the author quotes a student who didn't have time to write his paper, even though it was due two days prior to the conversations taking place because the student works thirty hours a week (8). Moreover, Minot also stated that this particular working student was enrolled in what is considered a normal work load, or fifteen hours. Are you beginning to see the point? This particular student is spending twice as many hours a week at his place of employment than he is spending in class. Not only that, studies from the University of Alabama conclude that in order to be a successful student, one is required to spend two hours outside of the classroom engaging in studious endeavors for every hour he or she is in the class room. That adds up to be fifteen hours in class and thirty hours out of class every week just to be a successful student. One can see that being a student is in many ways a full time position of it's own.

In addition, a full time student will not only have more time for studious endeavors, he/she will in turn learn the value of education. The author to this particular article, who is a teacher stated "I know students who work all evening aren't ready for studying when they get home from work" (Minot 8). Student who work thirty or more hours a week are clearly prioritizing their jobs higher than their educations and are not preparing themselves for their upcoming tests or projects appropriately because they do not leave themselves enough time to do both. One might argue in saying "Working gives students an chance to learn the value of time management." While this is true, at some point a line needs to be drawn. Students who are working thirty hours a week along side of their full time work load in school, will not have enough time for both and will take short cuts on one or the other. Minot being an experienced teacher gives his testimony in revealing the fact that students who work thirty hours a week will choose work over educational endeavors (8).

Thirdly, if students were to commit more time to their education, there would be a decrease in the number of students who fail classes. Minot presents more than enough evidence in his article in the Christian Science Monitor from his on site experience in the classroom. This point in made clear when he refers to students who are two days past due on their papers and not prepared because they chose to work the last evening as opposed to studying for an upcoming exam (8). This kind of priority is a slippery slope and will lead to more students failing those exams they did not prepare for, failing those papers that "they didn't have time" to write and ultimately failing the course for the semester. One might argue and state "How are they supposed to have money if they don't work thirty hours a week?" In this article in the Christian Science Monitor, Minot addresses that question by sharing his personal experience from when he was in school, revealing that most kids would at most mow lawns, shovel snow, baby sit or hold seasonal positions at the department stores (8).  We can see that this strategy worked out very well for him, he is an educated and experienced teacher having articles published in the Christian Science Motor! These days there are also many opportunities for financial aid, a plus programs and student loan options to assist the students through school.

In conclusion, one can see that full time students should not be working thirty hours a week. Minot reveals many evidences that the additional work load in not necessary in order to obtain the necessities of a high school or college student. Those students who fit the related category of full time student as well as near full time employee should spend more time and efforts focusing on their educations and long term goals.