Week 6 in class assignment. Revision strategy essay.

Upon evaluation of Nikita's critique of Lois' revision strategies essay, one can conclude that Nikita is impressed with Lois' progress as a writer, however the writer clearly emphasizes the need for improvement with the thesis statement, consistent connection to said thesis statement, as well as supporting evidence in order to establish a stronger essay. The writer shows global strength as well as local strengths. The writer makes her thesis known when she states "That being stated, there are some areas where you can still improve including your thesis statement, thesis connection and supporting evidence." Transitions between body paragraphs are smooth which kept the reader informed and on point.

For instance, the writer begins her response by stating "This essay has been your best piece to date. I am impressed with the progress you are making." When reading this, one can conclude that this is not the first time she has evaluated Lois' work, and that the writer is acknowledging substantial improvement. This fact can also be proven in the writers conclusion when she writes "Again, this is a good piece. I enjoyed your addition of rhetoric and several elements."

However, the complements and positive feed back do not come without negative feed back, especially in the area of the thesis. For instance the writer admits to understanding what the thesis statement is, but the writer also feels as if she is walking into the remainder of the essay blind. This fact is evident when the writer stated "In your essay, there is a clear thesis. 'Both the global and local writing concerns have helped me to improve my writing techniques' However, that thesis does not allow me to know where you are going from this point." The writer clearly wishes to emphasize the importance of establishing a strong thesis statement in order to inform your readers of what they are about to walk into. Not only does the writer feel as if she is walking into the essay blind, she also sees the need for improvement in the area of relating back to the said thesis throughout the essay. For example, the writer stated "Where your thesis statement is important, so is your connection to that thesis. In each of your body paragraphs, I noticed a lack of connection to the thesis."

In addition to the emphasis on the need for a stronger thesis statement, the writer also feels that the piece that she has critiqued requires more supporting evidence. The writer makes this known to the reader when she stated "The last major component of your  essay I can critique is the lack of supporting evidence." 

As one can see, the writer shows global strengths by holding to the pattern of her thesis statement throughout the essay. Global strengths are shown as she the writer transitions smoothly between body paragraphs, always connecting to, and supporting her initial thesis statement. The writer shows local strengths as well and uses a plethora of supporting evidence by quoting from the essay she is critiquing and providing insight as to what would improve the essay as a whole.